I Will Not Follow

[Warning I get a little nasty with the language and imagery below. You are warned.]

[Update: I edited a little to tone it down. I don’t mind getting a little crude, but if my mother saw this, she would wash my mouth out with soap!]

I despise with a particular sting, modern linguist rape. I hate terms like custodial technician, i.e., JANITOR. “Look buddy, no matter what fancy title we give you, we’re still not gonna pay until you clean the shitter!” And I humbly submit I have cleaned many a shitter in my day, it is JANITORIAL WORK. Changing the name doesn’t mean I’m not gagging over a particularly meaty pile of vomit or a particularly frothy splattering of poo. And the name wouldn’t make a bit of difference.

Same for secretary. It doesn’t change anything about the job to call them administrative professional, or administrative assistant. Just have the damned coffee ready when I get in and get ready to take notes. And be prepared to make excuses for the wife when she calls and I’m out at the titty bar – just kidding. I don’t have a secretary and I don’t go to titty bars. I did once and I felt bad for it, mainly for the girl.

But do have that coffee ready, alright?

They never changed the name of my line of work, bartending. Must not be deemed degrading. I don’t view jobs as degrading in general. I would feel the shining up of my job title to be degrading. Why didn’t they ever upgrade – “PC” – the name for people who give “”jobs for crack, or, prostitutes as they are referred to? I think that is a demonstrably degrading job. I think someone jamming away at one of your holes for an hour (or ten seconds)  so you can score some dope can’t be too life-affirming or even self-esteem boosting.

How about Coital Custodian?

Here’s another one. Retarded. Good, accurate word, if you understand its etymology. It is thought to be a derogatory word to use with who generally suffer from that general affliction. It is not. It is degrading to be called that when you are not. And changing the name of the retarded does not cease to make them what they are, nor does it restrained me to call someone who isn’t retarded “mentally challenged”.

Now calling a retarded person retarded to their face in a rude manner is, of course, not what I am talking about, and is not acceptable behavior. But to refer to “the retarded” is no smear against them since the referent is the same and the etymology describes neutrally their affliction. While “drooler” on the other hand would be derogatory.

Anyone that tells me in pious tone, and eyes slightly closed, that “we don’t use that term any longer”, is going to be called a retard by me for the rest of his time on earth, and I will refer to the mentally challenged as Retard’s Cognitive Superiors.

And that leads us to the BC/AD to BCE/CE crap. Look the common era stuff loses right out the gate based on the simple fact they introduced, not only a non-distiction, but forced upon me the typing of an additional letter.

This rant was timely about 20 years ago. I’m such a retard!


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