So, I chose my elective for the Neverending RCIA program. I went by the rational choice – the shortest one. Also, probably, the coolest, or most interesting one – eschatology.
Also, probably, the most significant of the available choices of the electives. The others were: Apologetics, Morality, Catholic Philosophy, The Holy Spirit, Introduction to Catholicism (sort of a weird choice after what I just took) The Church Councils (that was the longest course) Mariology, Marriage Preparation (like I need that in my 28th year!) and a few others I can’t remember.
The most significant being eschatology because it was one of the fault lines of my atheistic faith. [Atheistic faith? How dare you! I’m based on science! Son, let me show you the fairy dust upon which you sit…]
The Ape Theory or Maggot Theory (that you simply rot at the end) was a road to nihilism. Not an active nihilism but a dead end nihilism. That the universe, by a series of miracles to shame all mysticism, evolved a species such as man that operates by Ends possessed no more end than a fruit fly is a gaff to shake the foundations of the cosmos with laughter.
The Maggot Theory renders most, if not all, morality moot. [Mind, this is only of one topic, there is the whole origin of the universe and many other things as well.] If, upon this accidental ball of metal and mud, where, ultimately meaning is meaningless (under the ultimate annihilation by our sun, and it in its turn by extinction and the crushing or freezing death of a lifeless cosmos) you are to fend against a ticking clock against other accidents, where and what is morality? An countless series of means to end, for no end. Why chance anything that our cherished virtues demand?
Honesty? Only when it is safe to do so, brother. And only if I benefit. A case can be made, and not with too much difficulty, that I should not lie to the disadvantage of the other, that I should not use dishonesty as a weapon, that I should not seek to profit by deception. But where are those Jews? They are right up those stairs – and Hail Hitler. They will die, and maybe the accidents of the accidental earth that produced the Accidental Man through a series of random mutations may hurt inside to have helped in the death of others. But surely, the Accidental Ape will get over it far easier than death. And death is what he will risk.
Likewise, the Accidental Man may feel great guilt for not saving his wife when you were both held up by robbers. But you fled leaving her to die. But surely he can get over this easier than he can his own death. But what allegiance should I feel to what some scientists, or, rather, gadflies, to an instinct to perpetuate my genes – or whatever may be the cause of Accidental Man’s guilt? That one feels these things because evolution has instilled it in him to maintain a familial bond for the propagation of the species? Here’s the answer to that.
Shrug. Fuck it.
Again, arguments can be made that doesn’t descend Accidental Man into a raving lunatic bent on murdering all in sight for his insatiable ends. Although, such Accidental Men have certainly existed! But Accidental Man can allow nothing into his vision that interferes with his survival.
This assumes, of course, that Accidental Man is clear in the TruthTm of himself and the world he lives in. And that he is free of influence from those ignorant superstitions that lure him to stick his mortal neck out. To stave off the seeking of pleasure, to endure hardship, to take action whereupon he does not profit.
Such a fully awakened Ape sees the world for all that it is. There is no reason for his being there. No necessity for his having existed or for him to continue to exist. Or for anyone else to have existed or to exist. That all is some inexplicable chain of events that his scientists claim started at some point in time for no reason and by no means and from a nothing that is a something – somehow. Thus, the Jews meet their fate, Accidental Man moves up a square. Wife dies, moves up a square.
Think of all the things Accidental Man can do now! Ejaculation feels great. Its awesome! Why not do it as much as possible? The only restraint is the need to hold off when the sensation is abused and thrill subsides and then its back to the pole after a period of waiting. Look at that sweet, supple girl over there. Screw the propagation of the species, I didn’t sign for that and it matters not when my Accidental Existence accidentally stops existing. And who cares if the wife be sad and angry (or the husband – for there be the Accidental Woman too) that just evolution and it is a blind mechanism with no future.
That is the conflict that the modern man half Accidental Awoke Man and half influenced by the superstitious, but non-accidental philosophy has to contend with. Or, as is more traditionally put: he has an Angel in one ear, and the Devil in the other.
Hence, eschatology is the right subject for me to choose as an elective.
If you wonder why this seems to end abruptly, it is that I stop writing when the wife wakes up and so wherever I am at I tie it up and leave. Bye!