After seeing Abrams lackluster rehash of 1977’s Star Wars that starred the galactic Mary Sue capable of doing everything the bumbling males with their stupid balls and hairy butt cheeks couldn’t do because they are stupid fucking apes and are so stupid and dispensable and stupid and fucking men…
Hold it. Where was I? Yes. After watching JJ Abrams salvo into SJW feminist land with The Clitoris Awakens two years ago, I had the delusion that perhaps he was just a bad story writer who didn’t know how to put a female as a lead (see my post on how to do it properly in the prior post). I mean he gave every indication of being a bad story writer with his rehashes of Star Trek and being so lazy as to redo The Wrath of Khan (but he switched the Kirk and Spock roles, dude! – Dude, go die, your generation write no more and leave us of your stale regurgitations!) and then ripping off the original Star Wars. Oh yeah, and his penchant for galactic sized plot holes and really not being adept at science fiction – at all.
If anyone can guess by now, this is not a favorable review. I have never loathed a movie since I first saw Pulp Fiction.
First the feminism in this movie is way beyond The Clitoris Awakens. Every single male in this movie is either: evil, inept, clueless, bumbling, stupid, daft, maniacal. Yes, Luke Skywalker gets a sort of pass at the end when he sacrifices himself so the women can escape. Yes, there are men that escape with the few remaining women. But, as the movie points out – fuck them – the women would be better off killing them as they are so stupid and then wiping out the New Order (or whatever it is called) and committing galactic penicide, er I mean, androcide.
Luke sacrifices himself to give the women time to escape. But this is after an entire movie that we learn that he never learned a single lesson – not even the most important ones that we were shown he did learn in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Yoda has to tell him that failure is the greatest teacher. Really Luke? You have to learn this this far into the game? Kathleen Kennedy is right – men are stupid!
Anyway Mary Sue is never explained and we know why when we are done with the movie. Woman. That is all. It is it’s own answer. She is woman, ergo, hear her roar. The Snoke guy even tells the Kylo kid, “You were bested by a little girl the first time she held a lightsaber.” Yes! Please explain to us dark one how that is so! No explanation. She woman – he man. Self explanatory. Never mind that realistically (i.e., in all precedent of the movies) she would have been lucky to have come away with a single limb on that first encounter let alone with her life.
The feminist sjw drivel coming out of this film was so over the top as to be farce.
And then the humor. Look at this exchange five minutes into the film.
Poe Dameron: This is Commander Poe Dameron of the Republic fleet, I have an urgent communique for General Hugs.
General Hux: This is General Hux of the First Order. The Republic is no more. Your fleet are Rebel scum and war criminals. Tell your precious princess there will be no terms, there will be no surrender…
Poe Dameron: Hi, I’m holding for General Hugs.
General Hux: This is Hux. You and your friends are doomed. We will wipe your filth from the galaxy.
Poe Dameron: Okay. I’ll hold.
General Hux: Hello?
Poe Dameron: Hello? Yup, I’m still here.
General Hux: Can he hear me?
Poe Dameron: Hugs?
Captain Canady: He can.
Poe Dameron: With an ‘H’? Skinny guy. Kinda pasty.
General Hux: I can hear you. Can you hear me?
Poe Dameron: Look, I can’t hold forever. If you reach him, tell him Leia has an urgent message for him…
Captain Canady: I believe he’s tooling with you, sir.
Poe Dameron: …about his mother.
This is not Star Wars dialogue. This is undercutting of the male characters, in this instance of the evil ones.
One would think the writer would have been satisfied with the previous movie’s undercutting. Princess Leia may have been smart with Grand Moff Tarkin but it was not done in a way that undercut his character as a cold-blooded killer. And Darth Vader’s underlings were no match for his dark menace, but no one therefore prank called Admiral Piett. It gave me the feeling of watching an Austin Powers film. Which is fine if I am watching an Austin Powers film, otherwise, no.
I have a lot more to say about this piece of garbage film later. Right now I have stupid, ball hanging male stuff to do.